Chiznik Punks drop snippet of Lure Me (To Your Room) ft. Hercules Fernandez

 
Hey everybody, Lucifer here.

That's right, I'm back... and I'm not the only one.

CHIZNIK PUNKS have just dropped a sh snippet of their upcoming single Lure Me (To Your Room)!

Me's found it on a discarded mirror mobile device. It was hidden away on an app called GarbageBand. But it's mines now. All mines. Me's don't care what all the cease-and-desist letters say. Or the angry man in the courthouse with his white wig and little wooden hammer.

CHIZNIK PUNKS haven't releashed any music ever since the year 2000 when they's did an impromptu live street performance with Dr. Remedy... but they've more than made up for it with this Instantaneous Classic™ featuring special pest guest vocals by none other than Hercules Fernandez. Me's hopes to hear it on their first next world tour!

Keep your ears peeled!

MD3 Set For 2029 Release

Moe Skeeto's got the secret deets on the EAP beats.

The long awaited MD3™ gets a teaser poster and tentative Summer 2029 release date. Steve Willis says he read the complete script on his flight to EAP's Annual Gold Coast Film Festival and it blew him away - fans should expect some surprising twists and turns in 16 years time!

PROLOGUE?

Hey everybody,

Lucifer Moe Skeeto here.

Some unreleased teaser poster art for franchise reboot/prequel SLAM MAN™: PROLOGUE featuring ☆ Steve Willis ☆ has surfaced online. It's unknown if this is being currently developed, or even what the project actually is.

There's been no SLAM MAN™ news for a long time, so this might represent another abandoned attempt to resurrect EAP's 2001 magnum opus.

Sir Steve Willis Knighted

Hey everybody,

Lucifer here.

Sir Steve Willis has been knighted for his public service to sciences and health. He recently donated the contents of his mind to be ciphered in the hope that we might all, one day, be able to reach his level of inspirational stature.

About a month ago, during the procedures groggy aftermath, me was able to gets a few more comments from the honorable Sir Steve Willis regarding Ordinary Guy.

EAP fans all over the world have been wondering for years whether there is any connection between M:D-1's Ordinary Guy and M:D-2's John Pyro. As both characters are played by Steve Willis, and time travel is involved, it seemed like a definite possibility.

But Sir Steve Willis has ruled out such thoughts. Whilst answering a question about Ordinary Guy being John Pyro's father, the actor quipped:

"I think it's a good idea if we wanted to cheapen the entire franchise."

When quizzed further about the future of Ordinary Guy, whether the character is really dead, or what his role in MDIII might be, Sir Willis simply stated:

"Ordinary Guy is always losing his underwear."

In response to the other recent news regarding MDIII franchise rights, it appears that EAP has successfully reclaimed all rights to the third chapter. It is currently unknown whether chapters IV, V, and VI will still be produced but, given the hullabaloo to retain the rights, me's would guess that it is likely.

Make It Up To You In The Year 3000

Sata Lucifer here.

Some news from the recent EAP end of year discount sale suggests more drama to unfold.

According to some APE grapevine gossip reports, Steve Willis is pursuing legal action to reclaim the creatively bankrupt lucrative MD franchise rights. Mr. Willis forwarded evidence to legal representatives that he had unwritten co-ownership rights to develop MDIII exclusively until "the year 3000" [sic].

This has put a spanner in the works for the newly announced PEA/APE series of MDIII, MDIV, MDV, and MDVI. Whilst details about the IV, V, and VI episodes remain unknown, it seems clear that MDIII will remain at EAP for another 988 years.

Bitter rivals PAE/EPA Inc. and AEP International also leaked pages from early EAP drafts that they were able to tape back together read during the negotiations. Me's can confirm that the pages are genuine, so steer clear.

Scraps

Hey everybody. Lucifer here.

Horrifying Amazing news for M:D-3 fans!

Long time EAP rivals PEA and APE have just finalized a measly huge AUS$4.05 joint bid to obtain the rights to the M:D franchise, outbidding last weeks offer of AUS$0.00 from PAE/EPA Inc.

A spokesperson from the APE camp announced today that they plan to continue the film series where EAP's award winning M:D-2 last left audiences hanging.

Further discussions on the official PEA podcast indicated that the newly numeralized MDIII is just the beginning, with MDIV, MDV, and MDVI all being developed around EAP's shredded long lost drafts for a second trilogy to the previous prequels.

Casting remains open at this stage, however Steve Willis commented that EAP "warned [him] about the sale last year after [he] decided to retire from acting" and that he thought it was a "fantastic financial move" for the company.

When quizzed by yours truly another source about the possibility of returning, a beaming Willis replied "never say never" whilst slyly winking to the fans.

The rights to the remainder of EAP's back catalog and intellectual properties remains undisclosed.

(UPDATE)

The brainy bananas at PEA & APE have announced that they also obtained the rights to Planet Of The Dogs and Bad Meets Evil, the latter from which they plan to develop a old-school western trilogy.

Steve Willis retains the rights to both the Slam Man and Dr. Remedy properties, thanks to a contractual deal from 2001. Whether or not these properties are viable remains to be seen.

PAE/EPA Inc. also announced a sneaky AUS$0.05 side deal for the rights to Gentleman & The Tramp.

Me spilt spaghetti sauce over these new logos.

Me found this flyer in the trash at the announcement.

Secret Shoot

Hey everybody, Lucifer here.

Still alive? Yeah me too. It's a great day to be a living, breathing EAP fan!

A leaked photo from a private secret shoot has revealed a potentially massive SPOILER for M:D-3.

Check it out guys.

Rastafarian Man has to be back. He just has to! Please EAP...

Steve Willis Is Back & EAP 3D?

Hey everybody,

Long time no see. Me's been very busy but not nearly as busy as EAP.

In case you've been living under a rock, Steve Willis is back!

Slam Man Teaser - 2010 HD Remake

Steve Willis - 2010 Interview

M:D-1 - 2000 Theatrical Cut

Planet Of The Dogs - 2000 Unreleased Workprint

Also, with a little arm twisting and bin searching, me's discovered a secret test featuring Steve Willis in three dimensions. Could this be proof of future EAP 3D releases?

Me's forgot to steal special EAP 3D glasses.

Loverats

Me foresees Steve Willis not returning.

Steve Willis on/off Facebook

Hey everybody, Lucifer here.

EAP screen legend Steve Willis has an account on the popular Facebook.

Unfortunately, although initially full of new info and photos, the account now seems defunct.

It is rumoured that the account will be reinstated after Willis has returned from visiting one of his alter egos close friends, Hercules Fernandez, whom is currently grieving the loss of a fallen warrior known only as mosquito Moe Skeeto.

More to follow as the situation unfolds.

Lucifer

Hey, Lucifer here.

It's been a tough year for an EAP fan fans. After receiving a cease-and-desist special request from the chief officer of EAP's legal team fan club, I had to agree to keep quiet about some amazing developments.

UNTIL NOW!

Everybody knows that M:D-3 rumours have been nonexistant running rampant for years, so much so that conniving copycats have tried to steal EAP's thunder by using the title to fool yours truly a whole new generation of unsuspecting fans. Do yourself a favor and STEER CLEAR of any unofficial YouTube videos bearing the false title.

What everybody doesn't know is that the real M:D-3 will wrap up all the loose ends that the M:D-2 Trailer left audiences with. During a a recent script meeting, both Sir Steve Willis and Conman confirmed that many of the faces from M:D-1 and M:D-2 would reappear in M:D-3.

According to an early draft outline for M:D-3 FINAL STRIKE™ that I stole was allowed to peruse briefly, this could also be the final nail chapter in the coffin series for EAP. During a recent screening of some early test footage, tensions ran high between super-ego the legendary Steve Willis and the rest of the crew.

As the pictures show, he's clearly unwilling to participate still the perfectionist. Me reckons it was the possible changes made to the character of Rastafarian Man which indicate he may now actually be Rastafarian and not just a confusing name.

Whatever the case, you heard it here first kids!

EAP ARE BACK!
_

WAPD SWAT Police Start Search

An emergency WAPD SWAT Police meeting has declared that the search for Steve Willis is underway.

"He must be hiding. We are on the lookout for any turdmongers" said WAPD Officer Connor a few hours ago.

When quizzed about notifying Mr. Willis' loved ones, Officer Connor answered with a question to all present, and possibly the entire human race.

"Do you love?"

Steve Willis... Missing!

Hey everybody. Lucifer here with no time to spare.

Shock news! Steve Willis has disappeared during a routine EAP scouting operation in the sparse South-West of Australia. Rumour has it the EAP star was looking for a spot to film an upcoming M:D-3 scene at Rastafarian Man's hideaway beach shack. Whilst trekking to the locale, Willis was separated from the rest of the crew and could not be located. Attempts to contact the star by phone also failed.

Authorities have urged anyone with information of his whereabouts to contact them immediately.

Rest assured, Lucifer is on the case with more as it happens.

Steve Willis Talks M:D-3

Hey again.

Lucifer here.

Managed to break in get an invite to an exclusive EAP meeting. Steve Willis wanted to reaffirm that M:D-3 is in the storyboard stages and possibly definitely not in development hell.

"Assume M:D-3 won't happen, but don't assume too hard..." he jokingly added.

I'd wager his statement is a big enough tip-off that M:D-3 is well into production, perhaps even close to shooting, given last weeks news of a location scout in Fremantle.

More to come.

Lucifer

EAP In Fremantle

Hey.

It's me again.

Lucifer.

BREAKING NEWS: secret EAP meeting at Pizza Bella Roma!

Managed to follow escort EAP to a restaurant in Fremantle. They had been in the area for some time, possibly scouting for M:D-3 locations. Bribed a waitress for a nearby table to do a little eavesdropping for all you EAP fans out there.

These kind of events, in which all three EAP veterans are spotted, are quite rare. It's even rarer to catch the kind of juicy details that I overheard EAP eventually confessed to me. Bottom line is: EAP are up to something big!

Old names, like M:D-2 executive producer Neil Webster, peppered their excited conversation. Hearty meals, like Dazza's surf-n-turf, were busy stimulating the creative juices. Hawk-eyes, like those of Conman's menacing stare, were busy keeping a lookout for snitches undercover reporters like me.

Last month saw Steve Willis method acting as Ordinary Guy, now this!

Stay tuned for more,

Lucifer

Hey everybody...

How's it going?

Welcome to Lucifer's Logs.

Just wanted to tell you all that I'm EAP's only greatest fan.

I was stalking Just the other day, by pure coincidence, I bumped into the legendary Steve Willis. I did the world a favour and asked him when M:D-3 was coming out. He politely told me to get lost that he wasn't sure and not to hold my breath.

But, as he turned to leave, my hawk-eyes noticed a very specific anomaly about his appearance.

He was looking rather ordinary. Too ordinary for the great Steve Willis. Surely, he was getting back into character as Ordinary Guy from M:D-1.

Clearly, this proves that he's working on it and Ordinary Guy is back, having somehow survived Rastafarian Man's attack!

But before I could say "EX-CUSE ME!" he was gone. Maybe next time.

That little piece of information really got my juices flowing though, as I've been waiting to add M:D-3 to my collection of amateur second generation VHS copies EAP classics since 2002. (NO I CAN'T SELL ANY OF THE CASSETTES)

So there you have it EAP fans. Just remember, you heard it first on Lucifer's Logs.

Stay tuned for more as I get it.